Tag Archives: divorce

Important Things to Know Before Signing Divorce Papers

Couple fighting with their kidWhen the news of  Brangelina’s divorce broke out last year, everyone was surprised and saddened. From George Clooney, one of the couple’s closest friends, to that beefy butcher who cuts your meat at the local deli, everyone weighed in on the issue. Many questions arose, as well. Does Jennifer Aniston feel vindicated? Will Brad and Angie stay friends? What will happen to the kids?

For the time being, the mainstream media has been talking about the topic of divorce. As for average people like us, it's a way to confront one fact: Divorce happens, and it must be talked about.

The Crucial Questions

If your marriage is in a crisis right now, the word divorce may have circled your head once or twice. It's best that you take note of important questions before making a decision.

  • Is divorce truly what you want or does a part of you still wish to work with your chosen life partner?
  • Have you both accepted your role in whatever marital issues you are facing and tried to make amends?
  • Is the challenge you're facing highly demanding as a couple and you think you could benefit from coaching or is your marriage beyond salvation?

Divorce with Kids

Choosing to divorce your partner is not all there is to it, especially when you have children. The whole setup could turn your children’s lives upside down. For example, they might need to live somewhere else or go to a different school.

If they had recently suffered a loss — for instance, the death of a pet — then dropping the issue to them can hurt even more. On your part, there are custody agreements to be made as well as arrangements with your child support attorney in Colorado Springs. Consult them before anything else to avoid making matters worse.

If anything, better assess your situation so you can better decide on which step to take next. Divorce can be demanding not only for you, but for your children as well.

Fault vs. No-Fault Divorce: What Type Of Divorce Do You Need?

Couple arguing over some documents

Couple arguing over some documents

Most cases of divorce involve couples that used to be happy and in love. The breakdown of a relationship may come about due to a variety of reasons; sometimes, it just happens, and there is no use trying to patch up something that is too broken to undergo a fixing bout.

There may be different reasons for divorce, but there are generally two types: fault and no-fault. Divorce lawyers in Albuquerque such as the Law Office of Dorene A. Kuffer may explain them to you further, but here is a short discussion.

Fault

When a spouse files for a fault divorce, there is typically some wrongdoing. Some of the most common reasons people file a fault divorce include their spouse’s adultery. Unless the spouse forgives the cheating, it is valid grounds for divorce. If a person is in jail or prison, the spouse may also file a fault divorce.

Abuse is another common ground for a fault divorce. It may be physical or sexual abuse, psychological and verbal mistreatment, or even abandonment. If a judge thinks there is reason to believe your life or well-being is under threat, you may also file for a divorce.

No-Fault

A no-fault divorce is one in which neither spouse accuses the other of wrongdoing. While a fault divorce may take months or even years to resolve, a no-fault divorce typically takes a shorter time as neither spouse has any accusation that needs verifying.

Especially if the couple agrees as far as child custody arrangements and property and asset division are concerned, a divorce may find resolution after 30 days.

If you are filing a fault divorce based on your spouse’s cheating or abuse, know that forgiving the cheating or the abuse may cause a court rejection of your divorce. It is also important that you file with your lawyer and not with your spouse, so the court does not raise any doubt over your intent.

U.S. Divorce Filings Surge in January than any Other Month

Divorce Lawyer in Denver, CO

Divorce Lawyer in Denver, COThe American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML) said that divorce filings in the U.S. rise up to 30% in January every year, fuelled by a desire to start fresh in life.

AAML President John Slowiaczek said that the stressful holiday season from the month of the previous year mainly contributes to a couple’s desire to break their union, whether mutually or not. Family lawyers believe that in-laws further exacerbate the situation because frankly, who wants to have a mother-in-law meddling with your cooking during Thanksgiving or a drunk relative hitting on your wife at the family dinner on Christmas Day?

But before you seek to change your marital status, prepare ahead from what it’s going to cost you. An average cost for a divorce in the U.S. amounts to US$20,000. It might seem a small price for freedom, but different state laws, court and lawyer fees among other expenses further complicated such cost.

Marital State

First, nobody expects to go through a divorce when they marry someone, so most people don’t have a clue about divorce-related costs. Where you live also plays an important role, as a divorce lawyer in Denver, CO, may charge differently compared to an attorney in Los Angeles, CA.

Knowing what constitutes a legal divorce in your state of residence is also another important factor. In Colorado, the state requires one of the spouses to be a resident for at least 90 days before the start of legal proceedings.

Money Challenge

You and your spouse’s scenario will primarily dictate how a divorce settlement will affect both of your financial resources. The division of property and other assets is one of the common factors that prolong the process. It also doesn’t help when one of the parties involved in the case takes it very personally.

Hiring a lawyer should be one of the first things you should when you or your spouse files for a divorce, as they will not only give a logical perspective on the case, but also rationalize matters when your mind is overruled by emotion.

Keeping Your Sanity When the Ex Loses Theirs: The Divorce

DivorceDivorcing a spouse is hard; divorcing a spouse with a pathological personality disorder is harder.

Saying goodbye to a partner who suffers from personality disorders can be mind-boggling. For example, narcissists tend to gaslight their spouses, to “win” as much as possible. Others suffering from bipolar disorders can confuse their spouses — one day, you want to leave them, but their drastic change in behavior makes you think otherwise.

During such occasions, the majority of Long Island’s divorce attorneys recommend guarding your emotions and keeping your dignity whole.

Before you go through the proceedings, keep these steps in mind to keep your sanity too:

Surround Yourself with Support

During situations of extreme confusion or emotional turmoil, it’s important to gather as much support as you can. Establish your personal support network. If your soon-to-be-ex spouse is dangerous, always have a buddy check on you.

If your relationship resulted in you cutting all forms of contact with family and friends, do not hesitate to reach out again. Chances are, they already know your situation and will not hold it against you. Whatever the situation is, always seek help.

Limit Contact

People with personality disorders sometimes view their victims as their prey. Constant access to their prey results in their want for more power. Rather than subject yourself to more pain, cut off the supply now and get away.

If you do not have a child, getting away is easier since there is no need for legal contact. Cut off everything — no e-mails, texts, phone calls, or in-person meetings. If there’s a need for a restraining order, get one.

If you have kids, there is still a need for contact. Today’s court systems often favor shared parenting; in such cases, it’s hard to prove a spouse’s personality disorder without a proper diagnosis. If there is a need for continued contact, refrain from meeting with them in person as much as possible.

Get a Lawyer

Partnering with a good lawyer is important; hiring one who has dealt with personality disorders is even better. Lawyers will provide advice and take care of your legal concerns. They will also help you better understand your situation.

Separating from a spouse with a personality disorder can be tough, but you can power through. It’s not an excuse not to get your happiness. Keep going.

Leaving an Abusive Marriage: How to Fight for Your Kids

DivorceNot all marriages work out. As a matter of fact, almost half the marriages in the US end up in divorce court. And those are just the divorce cases. There are also married couples who stop living together without going to court.

Whatever the reason for the split, often the impact is the hardest on the children. This is not to say that it is better for your kids if you and your spouse decide to “tough it out.” Going this route instead of filing for divorce may sound rational, but unless you and your spouse are capable of pretending for life, you are not doing anybody any favors, not even your children. At some point the fights will get bigger, you will both become resentful, and your children will feel it, no matter how hard you try to shield them. You may try your hardest, but there will come a time when your kids will sense your emotions.

If you’re contemplating divorce and are not sure how to proceed from here, here is some advice from AdvancedPrivateEye.com that might help you out.

Seek Counselling

You can try to give your marriage another chance. This is, however, not for every couple. Going to marriage counseling is a sign that you are trying to save something that might be worth saving; if you and your children are in constant danger, however, you may want to forget about it. A physically and verbally abusive spouse is not likely to change with counseling.

File for Divorce

You and your spouse can talk about this if you are civil with each other. A calm and rational conversation can lead to a better conclusion, and you both can agree on the terms. If you have an abusive spouse, however, it’s best to get out of the house together with your kids. Find a safe place to stay, preferably somewhere you can be protected like your parents’ house, and talk to your lawyer about your next course of action, which is likely to involve a restraining order against your spouse.

Fight For Your Kids

If you have to, if you are willing to, and if you know it’s best for them, fight for sole custody of your children. Especially if your spouse is abusive and you know your kids are at risk, you have to fight for them. To strengthen your case, your lawyer may advise child custody investigations in Denver. The court itself may order this to determine which party is a more fitting parent if you and your spouse are both asking for sole custody.

Divorce is often nasty, and child custody battles even more so. Never forget that you’re fighting for your happiness and your kids’ future. Hire the best attorney you can afford and work with them tirelessly to come up with a winning plan of action.

Costly Divorce: Things Couples Regret

Couples after DivorceDivorce is traumatic in more ways than one. The very experience of ending a once happy marriage will take its toll emotionally on everyone, especially your children. It can also be physically demanding, as it will require you to juggle your work and other things you have to attend to. If you’re a conservatively religious person, the whole process can be a spiritual torture if you believe that man has no right to dissolve the union God brought together.

Economically speaking, a divorce (especially in New York) can hurt your bank account more than you expect. While there’s no other way to have a fresh start than having this legal move, many couples have a pocketful of regrets after going through this experience.

Unsigned Pre-Nup

It may not be the most romantic gesture, but signing a prenuptial agreement is certainly handy when having a divorce later on. It’s the most effective way to minimize the cost of divorce, as you already agreed to the terms about which goes to whom, should the two of you part ways. It may be too late now, but it’s a sound idea to keep in your back pocket in the future.

Unrealized Financial Consequences

Sometimes, divorce is a product of a hasty decision. The result: a possible bankruptcy. A reality you have to remember is that divorce isn’t free. This legal process involves a lot of work before the two of you can come up with a settlement, and you have to pay for everything.

Unmediated Agreement

All couples that chose litigation over mediation have been kicking themselves until today. The Law Offices of Ian S. Mednick and most Long Island divorce attorneys would advise you to dissolve your marriage amicably if possible. Not only because it’s less stressful this way, but settlements can be reached sooner if you two work together without fighting.

Sometimes, a marriage break-up is bound to happen, but how you’re going to deal with it is your decision. Even if the experience is naturally unpleasant, it doesn’t have to be financially regretful.

 

For Non-Custodial Parents: Why Does Parental Alienation Happen After Divorce?

Divorce

DivorceAfter divorce, it’s still important for the child to meet with their parents. The court sees that constant communication may help shape the well-being of a child even if both parents aren’t living together anymore. If you’re the non-custodial parent, you might encounter problems like your child hating and not wanting to see you after divorce. This could be a case of alienation.

Lawyers.com, Law Offices of Ian S. Mednick, and many other law professionals all agree that it’s best to do something about this before the child changes their mind completely and severs their relationship with you:

What is Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS)?

Richard A. Gardner, M.D., author of The Parental Alienation Syndrome: A Guide for Mental Health and Legal Professionals, defines PAS as a disorder that happens mainly in the context of disputes in child custody. This is when a parent’s efforts — consciously or unconsciously — brainwash their child, causing the child to hate and not want to see or talk with the other parent.

Why Does Parental Alienation Happen?

Psychologists say that this condition takes place when one parent still has issues with the other parent. They may have unresolved anger towards a misunderstanding or the wrongdoing of the other parent, or are insecure about their own parenting skills. A personality disorder may also be the reason they’re unable to empathize with their child. In some cases, external factors like grandparents or the new spouse could be pushing one parent to alienate the other.

What Are the Signs of Parental Alienation?
  • When your child knows the reasons for divorce, and sometimes in an exaggerated manner
  • When the custodial parent blames you for ruining the relationship due to money or a third party
  • Denying you access to your child’s medical and school records
  • Giving you an unmanageable visitation schedule or making the child too busy that they have no time to meet you

No parent would want their child to hate and avoid them. Before parental alienation happens, it’s best to take legal action with a reliable lawyer.